Yes I know it has been some time since my last newsletter. No real excuse really except a newsletter should really contain some news and, well not much has happened. Until today. So just what news item is of such importance that has dragged me from my self-imposed silence?
The impending retirement of Ricky Ponting? Or is it retiring Wallabies captain Nathan Sharp’s recent announcement? Could it be reining 470 World and Olympic champion Mathew Belcher beginning his campaign for Rio today at Sail Melbourne? Julia’s forgetfulness perhaps? The Gaza strip? No it is a far more serious situation with dire consequences for the future of the world.
It is about something called ‘milking’. Yes folks I discovered that the latest ‘craze’ sweeping the interweb is this. People pour a 2 litre bottle of milk over their heads, video it, and put it on YouTube. Google it if you don’t believe me. Thousands of poor simple fools lead such sad lives that they grasp for attention by proving to the world that they are idiots. ‘Milking’ makes the immediate past ‘craze’ of ‘planking’ look like the work of PhD students. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE TODAY? Sorry for shouting but WTF?? (That means ‘Why Tag Facebook’ as I understand it…..)
I mean really – is the pursuit of 15 seconds of fame so important that people will do something so incredibly pointless like that? Don’t people realize that the internet is like buying a pet parrot- it is a mistake for life. In years to come some poor fool will be about to become Prime Minister – when a video from their past emerges. No nothing as excusable a bathroom scene with 3 girls dressed as cheerleaders or a special cuddle with some famous person called Kardi-dash-again. There they will be, the future leader of the nation, grinning like an imbecile covered in milk. I despair for the future of the planet.
I heard a frightening statistic the other day – apparently due to population explosion 40% of all humans who have ever lived are alive today. And most of them have access to the internet. So this means that if you have the urge to post a vid of yourself tipping milk over yourself, not only can the entire world view it but nearly ½ of people throughout history will know it. (and BTW if a particular 13 year old is reading this – this also means that if you light aerosol cans when you are home alone with your mates and post it on your face book page you should similarly remember that not only can the world see it –your mother is also your friend).
But I digress. Things here at Southern Cross Yachting have been off the rails lately – so much in fact that your correspondent has been sent out on the water to sail (back down the salt mines I call it) and hence no newsletter for a while! December is upon us and as usual none of you have you have thought about Christmas presents yet have you? Well lucky for you Southern Cross has gift vouchers for any amount or course you wish to purchase. No more lining up at Bunning’s, no more wandering the shopping centres looking for inspiration – the perfect gift for any loved one is but a few keystrokes away. Drop us an email or call the office (+61 7 3396 4100) and your Christmas shopping is done. We also have a second boat scheduled for the 5 day course running from the 7th to the 11th of January. There is nowhere better to be than out on the bay at this time of the year, swimming each day and enjoying the endless summer of sailing. There are still 3 places available so get in quick.
That’s all for this edition – until next time keep your powder dry and your milk in your tea!
Cheers Mike Job.