From the feedback we received, it would appear that I am the only person over the age of 12 that didn’t know you couldn’t fly on a passport with less than 6 months to run. Silly me. But here’s something about passports you didn’t know. You can’t take a photograph of the new ones. The girl from the travel agent told me to take a photo of the picture page of my new passport and text it to her. So there I was in the foyer or the passport office, my expensive little blue book propped open on a pot plant trying to take a kind of passport selfie. But it won’t let you! The passport office has put some kind of sneaky film over so all you get is a hologram of the Australian coat of arms. And not just one, the coat of arms is repeated over and over. The pattern resembles what I always imagined John Howard’s pyjamas would look like. I tried over and over but all I got was the same thing. Suddenly I started to worry. Why would they do that? Is it in fact illegal to copy a passport? Could I be charged with attempting to copy government documents or something? Or was it only mine or some ‘special’ marking for us people that need to leave the country in a hurry. Would my new passport be flashed under a high tech reader and I be whisked off by the Vanuatu police for a ‘thorough’ search at the airport. The thought of the size of those big Polynesian hands made my eyes water. Indeed, was attempting to copy government property, combined with the anti-government rant I had given to the taxi driver reason for me to be drugged by special agents thrown into a van then when I awaken in a few days in Guantanamo Bay being water boarded. In preparation for being water boarded I googled it to find out exactly what I was in for. Apparently you are strapped to a platform that tilts and then water is forced up your nose. Welcome to offshore racing. They won’t get anything out of me!
But you won’t get any water up your nose on this year’s Brisbane to Airlie Beach and return trips. Nothing but gliding over an Azure sea, whales and dolphins playing around the yacht as it sails beneath an empty clear sky. Trust me. I have a passport.
The Brisbane to Airlie Beach trip departs 1 September and the return trip departs Airlie Beach 11/9/14.
That’s all for this edition, until next time big brother may be watching.
Cheers Mike Job.